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Rob Paxton

Social Commentary and Satire, the likes of which you won't find elsewhere.

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Legally, There Ain't No Compassion

Or a lot of common sense. I am a law and order kind of guy, and that has not always been the case, but as I got older, I started to understand the police were people, just like you, doing their job. Lately, I'm left revisiting that opinion. I still believe most officers just want to do their job, and go home to their loved ones at the end of the day, but I gotta ask, wtf is going on with officers ransacking a cancer patients room looking for some weed, and it just comes down to common sense, and a little bit of compassion. Thing is, those are two things that come naturally to most people, and if you're born without one or the other, you do stupid things, like not give a fuck about people, even people who are suffering from cancer. Seems to me, there should be a way to screen these idiots out during the hiring process, and a good screen test would be to start them smoking a little weed, every now and then. But that's just my opinion.

On the blog



What you believe

What you think

What you know


Unless you’ve happened

Along some great truth

You’d care to share


I’ll share

Chances are

you’re wrong

Never listened

Never learned

All you got

Is what you’ve

been told.


Parents, Friends

Relatives, Politicians


All profound truths

That pale in comparison

to thought, to knowledge

to action, to compassion

to Experience.


Truth from someone

who has never ventured

from their safety

from their warmth

from their family

yet in their world

They know the world

as it is.


Their truth.



Before peace on earth, there was hell.


Strange, this work is over 25 years old, and looking back on it, I get why it never sold. But damn, I'm proud of it. Check out a sample, here.

Short Fiction

With all the pieces laying around,

why is life so redundant?


God speaks to all, many hear, one acts.

There exists in every person the potential to do great harm and most people find that potential because it’s easier to find and execute than to find the potential to do good.

Keep the people fed with bread and they’ll catch you stealing them blind. Put a steak on their table, and they won’t care.

Social Commentary is an act of subterfuge that will destroy our civilization, but it just also happens to be a good thing.

In the Mouth of a Beast

There's a lot to be said about always being aware of your environment, but when you're swimming with whales it's probably kinda hard to know what's deep down underneath. Good thing we don't taste so good as whale food, at least that's what I'm guessing happened. Same thing can't be said about lions. Bottom line is, when it comes to mother nature, some people aren't that familiar with where we humans are in the food chain. Other than that, I got nothing, 'cept I'm wondering about my dog now, more so then ever, specially when he's looking at me with that 'feed me' look.

Bad News Delivered, Badly

Fuck! Just WTF, now we can't even be told we're going to die tomorrow by another human being with just a little bit of compassion in their voice. Look, I'm fine with robots building cars, and vacuuming my floor, but when it comes to being told I'm going to die pretty quick here, I'd prefer that news comes from another person that has an actual heartbeat. I mean, Ima need some compassion, some love, comfort, and even a tear or two, but naw, not anymore. Now, doctors have decided they don't have to carry the burden of delivering the bad news to their patients and their families. Sometime, I just scratch my head in wonder in what we're becoming as a society. Then again, when I get to heaven, I'll probably find out God is some damn robot that's transcended the evolutionary scheme of things. Least they could do is transfer a living brain to the damn robot so it's at least acting like it was sad for me in my last moments.

MN High, Just Not Now!

It came as no surprise that our senate rejected legalizing marijuana for recreational use here in Minnesota, voting along party lines in a Republican controlled senate, 6-3. Hell, they even killed the idea of a task force to study the issue. So the issue is dead in the water for the next year, and yeah, I'm not happy about that. Times are changing though, and it will happen at some point. Most democrats are on board with legalization, not only here in the land of ten thousand lakes, but nationally. The way I look at it, if the Vikings ain't ever going to win a Superbowl, much less get in the game, our politicians should do the next best thing, and that's legalize weed, specially in a state where most support doing so. For some people, mostly republicans, they just don't give a shit what others think, thinking instead they know whats best for me. Well, fuck 'em, they don't, If they suffered with some agonizing back pain like some people I know, and that pain was negated with a quick smoke or two, they'd change their staid, and rigid belief systems.

Where'd the week go?

It's Friday, already.

I'm all gathered up in my madness, ready for two days of rest and recreation, and hopefully, a little procreation.

What do you have planned?

Tale of the Tape

If Vesta Stoudt were alive today, I wonder what she'd have to say about how popular her idea of a waterproof tape has become. Vesta passed back in 66, so I'm guessing she never realized that there wouldn't be a home in existence without a roll of Duck Tape tucked away in every drawer. Now, I've seen quite a few creative uses for duck tape, and I imagine there's a woman or two out there that has used a strip here and there to fix a wardrobe malfunction, but I have to wonder about the intelligence of creating a fashion line of swim ware made entirely of the sticky stuff. On one hand, I get the durability, the creativity, but getting out of the damn suit after a quick dip in your backyard pool, well, that just has to be painful. That said, I've got my order in for the wifes next birthday present, and if she, by chance doesn't like it, I'll throw the damn thing in my tool box.

The Tao of Big Dick

I've got a regular sized dick and I'm quite happy with it, when it works. That said, there sure seems to be a market for men wanting bigger dicks, and I'm not sure I understand the psychology behind wanting a bigger male member. Hell, apparently there's even an surgical procedure offered to make you a bigger dick, but it looks like it has some draw backs, like dying on the operating table when they inject your dick with some strange shit. I dunno, I don't think having a bigger dick than the next guy makes you more desirable, makes you a better man, or even makes you a happier person, specially cuz there's always some guy out there that has a bigger dick. Maybe it's like fishing, men like fishing only because they get to brag about the size of the fish they caught, even if more than two thirds of the time, the size is a fable of extraordinary proportions.


Been There, Done That

It's called Deja Vu, and it's some weird shit, a sense that you're reliving an experience, and when I was a kid in my late teens, it was a common experience, and then it just stopped. I haven't thought about it much, but running across this article made me pause, and reflect how prevalent the experience was for me back in the day. I don't buy into a lot of the explanations for it, 'cept the one that weird things happen that we don't have answers for. I guess that doesn't mean we stop looking for answers to life's little strangenesses, we'll figure it out someday. I will say this, my instances of having been there and done that were god damn powerful, and scared the shit outta me at times. Why they just up and disappeared, I'm thinking has to do with a developing and maturing brain, and as I get older and my drain disintegrates, I'm looking forward to meeting an old friend.

Pet Food

Pets are expensive in relationship to their size, it's an immutable force of natural fact. Goldfish are cheap to feed, so are turtles. Dogs fall into a sliding scale, the bigger the dog, the more pricey they get. I had a Rottweiler once that ate better than I did. The thing is this though, there's a point of no return, where you just can't keep their bellies full, their hearts content where they adore you for feeding 'em. Case in point, keep a lion around, and he might be cuddly cute to snuggle up with on a cold night, but the days going to come when he belly aches a bit more than usual, and unlike a turtle that will live with his hunger, a big ass jungle beast wont, and he'll find his own damn food, even if it's you.

Rich, but Broke AF

I'm not a rich man, so I understand what it's like to want something and not have it. Of course, I have a credit card, but I don't owe much, and I kinda like it that way. From what I read, I'm unique in that way cuz everybody else is suffering from massive credit card debt. Hell, the numbers say that y'all are in 870 $illion in debt, and that's B as in boy. That debt shot up 26 billion in just the last fiscal quarter. By my way of thinking, somebody's going to wake up some morning short of cash, and to cover their cost, they'll be knocking on your door, wanting your outstanding balance, in full. They won't get enough, because you won't have it all, so they'll still be fucked, but not as fucked as you. Of course, I'm not a financial wizard, being more of a sensible enough guy to know, you can only blow a balloon up so far, so if I'm wrong, I'm fine with that, ain't no problem. But if I'm right...

Damn Straight, there's


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