Rob Paxton

Social Commentary and Satire, the likes of which you won't find elsewhere.

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This Weekend,

stay away from tainted love.

cuz it'll stain ya forever.


A Great Mind

once said that we should be worried about the evolution of artificial Intelligence along with our ability to destroy our planet. When I look around, I wonder if the human species even has the right to survive? I say that with the realization that there is a lot of good people in the world. If God swooped in and gathered all the good people up, most of us would still be here. It's not enough to get up, live a decent life, and raise good kids. It might have been once. Not today, not now. If our species is going to survive, we need individual evolution. We need to start being concerned at the individual level, we need to start researching, the tools are there. Knowledge begets evolution. We're going to have to teach a species we created to have respect for the world they live in, but that's going to be hard to do when most of us lack the self awareness to respect our own world. If being self aware differentiates us from the animal world, it just might be we have more in common with our pets than we'd like to think.

Celebrity Penis Facials, Huh?


At 650 bucks a pop, these facials are going like hot cakes, if you can afford them. I could be an ass, and point out there's cheaper ways to get a facial using a penis, but I won't go there. However, if Cate or Sandra are interested in saving a dime, I'd be willing to save them a couple of bucks. Can't help but wonder how much the guy makes for offering up his services, or why he has to be Korean? Or why he has to be uncircumcised?


Yep, sometimes I ask too many questions without reading the article, and yes we live in a strange place.

Gotta Love, Nazi Love

Let me just say relationships are easier when you keep 'em down to two people. They're also easier to follow when scandal breaks. Other than that, all I know is, that if you want to stand on a box outside your trashy trailer and watch your wife get banged, it's on you when the box breaks and the ruckus creates a hostile environment. And just to be clear, the guy doing the banging was married to the other guys step daughter, or some shit like that. Can't help but wonder if they all met at Robbie Paxton's lonely Hearts club


On the blog


Before peace on earth, there was hell.


Strange, this work is over 25 years old, and looking back on it, I get why it never sold. But damn, I'm proud of it. Check out a sample, here.

Short Fiction

With all the pieces laying around,

why is life so redundant?


Walking in the Future

Life is a funny thing. When I was a kid, all I ever heard from adults was how useless kids were, how selfish we were, obsessed with bellbottoms, drugs, sex, and rock and roll. The thought much have caught on with some of my peers because I hear pretty much the same thing these days, kids are obsessed with their phones, they're spoiled brats, sex...


Thing is, the kids are us.


Maybe only better! When I see our youth marching out of their schools and taking to the streets to voice their concern about their personal safety, because some adults don't seem to care, I have hope.


I hope they are not us. That they are better. I hope that as they grow they do not lose, as we did, the sense of what is important in life. The equality of all, compassion for your neighbor, and the god given right to be safe in your school, which people of my age, sure took for granted.

Ash to Ash, Dust to Dust

You're now one with the universe, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you were probably more in tune with the universe while you were alive than most of us. God bless, rest, and check in with us every now and then.

What? Where? Huh?

I usually don't pay much attention to the NFL after the Superbowl until sometime in late August, but this QB situation here in Minnesota is getting strange. Bridgewater hasn't played in two years, Bradford has a degenerative knee, and Keenum is headed west. Don't know what the answer is, but I'm glad Brees signed with NO. I want a solution, not an old band aid.  But I gotta ask, how did it come to this?


I'll read what happened this fall!

Lady Godiva, She Wasn't

While the ride was probably inspired by the legend, having a scantly clad women ride a white horse into a packed bar of inebriated customers wasn't the brightest idea. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for seeing a naked women riding a horse, but there is a time and place for getting it done, like maybe a Trump rally. Hell, have Trump ride in naked on a white horse, that'd drive his supporters to drop a load. Wouldn't surprise me to see that happen some day, with Trump wearing a crown of thorns on his golden mane, to boot.

I Really Want to Know

what the hell is going on in our skies. This is like the third or fourth video our Department of Defense has released showing an encounter between an unknown object and our fighter jets. Thing is, it ain't the video that's impressive. It's the pilots reactions, like when the guy screams out 'What the fuck is that thing', that makes me go hmmm.


Sure hope our visitors ain't bringing any diseases with 'em.

Just What I Wanna Wake

up to on a Monday Morning. News that I might not even make it to the weekend. Good God! And what do scientists come up with for a name for this game changer? Disease X! Really? How about 'Disease Happy Face'? At least I'd get a chuckle knowing something funny was coming my way to end humanity.


Gotta love Mondays.